As a Female-IIX

A Curse!

I hold a Masters degree and a PhD degree in Politics and Public Relations. I have a lucrative job that provides me with enough money to have everything I need. I drive a fancy car and have a fancy house. Yet, if I walk down a street alone, men stare at me and verbally harass me. With their luscious looks, they strip me off my clothes and rape me.

I thought if I get married and wear a wedding ring, men may stop acting like that with me. I bought a very big ring so that it is going to be noticeable and eye-catching. To my surprise, the ring changed nothing and men still behave in the same way.

I thought if I am with my husband, men will not dare to stare at me anymore. This is a patriarchal society after all. Ironically, I still get stared at; especially by men who are accompanied by their wives.

If you are a man who is reading this, you’ll probably be thinking that I don’t wear decent clothes, that’s the reason why men stare at me like that. Huh! What a good excuse men use to harass women and even rape them! But no, you are wrong! You may be surprised to know that I actually wear very decent clothes; never anything tight, or short or sheer. It has nothing to do with men. I just respect my body enough not to expose it in that disgraceful way.

I sometimes get phone calls from men who want to have fun and spend some “lovely time” on the phone with a girl. I yell at them and ask them to never call again, but they never listen to me and keep calling until they hear the voice of a man answering my phone.

I aspire to become an MP in the future, and I work towards that, but I think even then, I will not be able to escape any of the problems I face as a woman every day. A friend of mine is already an MP. She is a widow and in her fifties. A man one day called her and said that he wanted to meet her and “talk” to her. My friend has given up on men long time ago and she’s faithful to the memory of her husband whom she loved very much. When she received that phone call, surprisingly, she found herself yelling “Don’t dare to call me ever again, otherwise I’m going to tell my brothers.” She said that she could believe that after all these years and after being an MP, she still felt like she had to use a man as a way to threaten someone who was disturbing her. However, I don’t really blame her for reacting in that way. No matter how many achievement we make in this life and how many high posts we fill, the curse of being a woman is always going to be following us and men are always going to give themselves the right to verbally or physically harass us. All this for one reason: Being a women.

As a Female-III

Somebody

As a young girl, I admire anyone, but myself. Those gorgeous celebrities are all ways better than me. They are semi-gods and I am no body. I am some plain girl. Yes, I am going to college. Received good education. I have a close loving family. I am healthy. I have a good reputation and people respect me because I am responsible but… that is NOT enough. That is NOTHING… I am still NOBODY... Inner beauty is a myth. A celebrity with a pretty face and a sexy body whom everyone knows is SOMEBODY... Is EVERYTHING.

My hair is natural. No colours. No extensions, but it is still so boring and hideous compared to the gorgeous hair of some celebrity with a different hair-cut and different hair length every day. It is fake hair. I know. Your hair will not grow overnight but who cares? They are knockouts. Aren’t they?

My skin is terrible. Well, it is natural and fresh. Duh! I’m young.  But it is either too white that is so dull compared to some celebrity’s fake tan or it is too dark compared to some celebrity’s fair skin that I know without makeup is covered with freckles and she has a red nose but who cares?  Makeup does miracles and these ladies are drop-dead gorgeous with makeup. They are on magazine covers. They are popular! They are SOMEBODY!

My lips, not plump enough like some celebrity that I swear she used to have thinner lips in the past. True, sometimes her lips look heavy and painful from all those fillers, but who cares? Those are sexy lips and look perfect with lip gloss. So give me that! Fill up my lips with chemicals! Make them numb. I don’t need to feel kisses anymore. As long as they LOOK pretty!

My body! Don’t mention it please! Not thin enough. If thin, not feminine enough. My breasts are either too small or too big and don’t stand right. I work out and get an athletic body instead of a feminine sexy one. But how to get a slim body then? I don’t know how some celebrities do it! They have big boobs and nice tight butts and yet really flat abs. They claim they work out every day and drink a lot of water. How can they exercise with those big boobs and what water? That flat tummy will swell a bit even if you only drink water. Mine does and never gets that flat because a tummy is not flat anyway so how they do it? Liposuction? Perhaps! Temporary treatments? Who knows!? But still, I want that, that ridiculously flat tummy. Those big boobs that seem to defy gravity and remain hung in the air without a bra. That tight butt with no chunks. I want that and who gives a damn about health concerns and surgery pains!? Such body will make you SOMEBODY!

I am too imperfect compared to all those gorgeous knock-out girls. Well, they do all have issues. Almost all of them have been to rehab a couple of times. Got knocked up and had a bastard child. Or a sex tape of them spread out on the web. They got a divorce or two. changed multiple partners.  Got arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. Their IQ is less than that of a dolphin. They are always half naked. Have millions of scandalous pictures on the web. They have a terrible history and there seems to be a hole in their hearts that only a d*** can fill, but… they are pretty. They are gorgeous. They are popular and their pictures are everywhere. It is always about them. They are SOME BODY! Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that what matters? Or what?

As a Female- II

# 2 A Girlfriend Only

Friends: We all need friends to survive this life's atrocities. A friend is always needed to share both the happy and sad moments with. A friend is needed to teach us giving, forgiveness, respect, patience and other good things we thought we never had in the first place! But sometimes, friends are a bit overrated. If you are a girl and in a relationship with a guy who has many or some close friends, you are going to understand what I am about to say here.

Sometimes your family members can be your best friends that you don't feel like you need any close friends or at least you don't feel like you have to have many friends. And we definitely don't need so many fiends to live a happy life. Whether it is your family, a complete stranger or anyone who is your friend, we, girls, when in love with a guy, want one thing more than any other thing in this world which is to be best friends with the guy we love. Therefore, when we are in love with some guy, we put them on our priority list and we always treat them better than our best friends because we think "c'mon! he is both my love and my best friend!" But have you ever noticed how different guys can be when it comes to this? how they change into a different person when they are around their friends. They are more cheerful, they take things less seriously, they are more relaxed, they complain about nothing, they have more jokes and they are so crazy and funny. For example, if their friend messes up and takes a wrong turn while driving, it's something to joke and laugh about while if you do that, it's the end of the world. Don't you hate how if a friend of his upsets you, he always defends the friend, finds him excuses and asks you to take it easy while if you are the one who directly or indirectly did something bad to their friend, they are ready to point it out immediately and reproach you as if you have touched something very sacred to them! It's just so frustrating when you think of it! You are in a real dilemma. You can't compete with the friend and try to replace them because you are a girl and you can't be everything they are. You are a different person. But you can't live harmoniously with the friend in your life because it's so painful and offending when you know how you are categorized as a "girlfriend only" while the friend is a best friend. Even when he says that you are his best friend, you know it can't be true because you can't be a best friend when he shares with the best friend all he never shares with you and when he treats his best friend more kindly and with more forgiveness and patience than he treats you. Yes, how frustrating it is when your love opens his arms to your love while he turns his back to your friendship! How sad it is when you know you can never be close enough to be best friends. What an ugly place to be: girlfriend only….

 

As a Female...

In this crazy modern world of intelligent technology, social networks, GM food, global warming, economic recession, terror, reality shows, media war and thousands of 

different stuff, it's still difficult to be a woman.

Well, I know to be defining myself in terms of my gender means that there's still something seriously wrong with the way the world still views women. As Simon De Beauvoir said, a man never has to start a statement saying "as a man", but anyhow, I'm not really going to discuss these philosophical feminist matters here. What I am mostly interested in is the amount of none-sense I have to deal with everyday just because I'm a woman.

These diaries can be the diaries of any woman or any girl on this planet. The diaries don't have one writer but basically they are all about how frustrating it can be to be a girl or a woman in this supposedly modern world. In fact, no matter how much humanity develops, we, women will always remain women; defined and limited by all the limitations the word bears.

Just before I start, I'd like you to know that in these diaries I'm not going to act like a real feminist and blame men alone for women's misery because women are also part of that misery. Women also give women such terrible times and help this unfair situation persist. So let's be objective people!

# 1 What to Wear Tomorrow!?

I know girls really care about details like your makeup, nail polish, accessories, bag, shoes and so on. Everything should fit and everything should be perfect but seriously, sometimes YOU ARE JUST NOT IN THE MOOD! However, once you ignore one of these, there's some bi*** to point it out. Let's be honest, guys never even notice these details and believe me, they'll never get over your body or if lucky, your face, to look at these things, unless they are gay which in this case shouldn't be something to worry about. We do all this for each other; to show off and try to look better than each other, but we eventually neither feel good about ourselves nor about others because there's always someone prettier than you. So just let it go! For heaven's sake! Do it if you enjoy it for yourself, not to show off or make a rival girl die from envy. Just admit it that sometimes you simply can't look good. Accept the ugly self too and enjoy it. I'm sick of applying those products to my healthy young face every day so that just because I don't look like a clown a bi*** won't say "Oh dear! Are you ill or something?" and I'm sick of thinking of what to wear tomorrow and how to match my clothes with everything else just because if I don't,  girls may mock me and I also won't make any girl jealous. I'm human, not a doll for display at some shop, everyday they make me wear something new! This is crazy but if I don't do it I'm either sad because of a death in the family or I'm living a failing love story or  I'm ill or I'm a weirdo or perhaps I'm a tomboy or just not girly enough! Nonsense! I'm me. I'm human before I'm a girl so stop defining me through all these beauty products, clothes and accessories and instead we'd better spend some time on something more useful so that next time I don't put on make up to work or school, there will be some girl educated and smart enough to say "busy with something important nowadays!?". Damn! It's 12.30 already! I've got to decide what to wear tomorrow! 

Woman and the Other-A Summary of the Introduction of The Second Sex

Woman and the Other

SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR

"What is a woman?" (Beauvoir, 1949:p. 305) this is a question raised by the French existentialist, writer, and social essayist Simone de Beauvoir in an article under the title: Woman and the Other, which is originally an extract from the introduction of her book The Second Sex, a work of feminist philosophy which can be considered the starting point of second-wave feminism. The extract is published within a collection of critical articles and documents under the title of Literature in the Modern World edited by Dennis Walder and published by Open University. In this article, De Beauvoir sheds light on the deep rooted concept of femininity in the mentality and unconsciousness of humanity and the way this contributes to complicating women's problems of gender inequality and discrimination. She also questions women's position in the world at the time of writing her book and the future awaiting them.

 De Beauvoir questions the word woman; she argues that femininity is a concept holding within it certain qualities that society prescribes to women; the presence or lack of these qualities in a woman decide the degree of her femininity. If a woman has these qualities then she is what De Beauvoir defines as "the eternal feminine" (305) while if these qualities are missing, that woman is not considered feminine or she is not a real woman, as she argues:

All agree in recognizing the fact that females exist in the human species; today as always they make up about one half of humanity. And yet we are told that femininity is in danger; we are exhorted to be women, remain women, become women. (305)

From the beginning of the article, De Beauvoir expresses her disappointment at the feminist movements of the nineteenth century; she believes that a lot of time and energy had been wasted on the subject of feminism without being able to approach the subject properly, as she states "the voluminous nonsense uttered during the last century seems to have done little to illuminate the problem" (305).

De Beauvoir observes that although science had proven that the qualities ascribed to being feminine are not biologically inherent in women, in the unconsciousness of mankind the word woman still holds some conceptual meanings within it. De Beauvoir observes that it is a denial of reality when some feminist activists refuse to be called women because in De Beauvoir’s opinion, this kind of attitude is not going to make the conceptual meanings the word holds disappear. In some cases, this attitude only reveals those feminists’ sense of lacking and fragility as she suggests "the attitude of defiance of many American women proves that they are haunted by a sense of their femininity" (306), to support the previous statement, De Beauvoir provides an example about a "well-known" woman writer, whose name she does not provide, who refused to allow her portrait to be published among a series of photographs specified for women writers; however, this woman writer used her husband's authority to enable her to have her picture published among the pictures of the men writers. (306)

De Beauvoir discusses the situation and position of women in the world; as an example, she refers to language pointing out how in language the word man can represent all humanity while the word woman cannot do that. She claims that women are not regarded as independent beings with an identity of their own but they are rather defined in accordance with the rules of men. To support this claim, she quotes from Michelet who wrote "Woman, the relative being" (307). As De Beauvoir suggests, in the world man comes first and woman comes last; man represents all the good and acceptable values of humanity while woman is the representative of all that is evil, fragile, corrupt and incomplete; therefore, men and women are not regarded as equals; man is the origin of humanity while woman comes as an accessory or as some entity subordinate to him:

the relation of the two sexes is not quite like that of two electrical poles, for man represents both the positive and the neutral, as is indicated by the common use of man to designate human beings in general; whereas woman represents only the negative, defined by limiting criteria, without reciprocity.  (306-307)

De Beauvoir observes that it is very familiar to find women viewed with prejudice by men only because the male dominant society holds strong beliefs that to be a female is to be lacking a number of very significant qualities. De Beauvoir also refers to different cultures, beliefs and philosophies that define women as evil creatures or incomplete beings with numerous flaws, such as Aristotle whom she quotes from: "a female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities" (307) she also quotes from St Thomas who defined woman as "an imperfect man", "an incidental being" (307).  Thus, De Beauvoir argues that a woman's mere function in this world is considered to be satisfying the man's sexual needs as De Beauvoir says, "And she is simply what man decrees; thus she is called ‘the sex’, by which is meant that she appears essentially to the male as a sexual being" (307)

The author then moves to the subject of the other; she states that women willingly fill the role of the other in the male-female relationship. She observes that naturally in all conflicts that occur between people of different nationalities, beliefs and so on each side considers themselves the right side or the one while they consider the opposite side to be the other, i.e., no side is willing to play the role of the other, still, as De Beauvoir suggests, women seem to have accepted to play this role willingly and here she questions the reasons and factors that led to this obedience and submissiveness. She brings forth a number of factors that can lead to this; however, she excludes each one of them providing explanations for that. For instance, the Jews or American Negros have been abused and exploited within the white or Western communities for many years because they were a minority and did not have the power to stand up for their rights, but this factor cannot be applied to women because they have never been a minority in this world, in fact, women have always formed half of the world's population. De Beauvoir concludes this argument by stating that it might appear to one that submissiveness is inherent in women, yet, she adds that nothing is permanent in this world and change is possible because an abused fraction of humanity such as the proletarians managed to start a revolution in Russia and fight against class differences, yet, women remain submissive and thus they are abused only because they are not taking serious action to change their situation. Regarding the rights women had gained at the time of writing her book, De Beauvoir claims: "but the women’s effort has never been anything more than a symbolic agitation. They have gained only what men have been willing to grant; they have taken nothing, they have only received." (309) this statement suggests that the rights gained by women are not the outcome of serious struggle and hardship but rather they were obtained because men were willing to give them away.

De Beauvoir draws a comparison between the situation of the Negroes in North America and that of women in the world in terms of how similar both cases are. She observes that both are enslaved and discriminated based on some false assumptions whether it be the "black soul" or "the eternal feminine" (310). She notes that the social class in power is the one that fabricates some terms and excuses in order to justify its exploitation of the other; it is striving to guarantee that the excuses it fabricates are convincing enough to abort the other's attempts to obtain their basic human rights. A good example of these excuses includes considering a woman who is relatively rebellious and disobedient as a woman lacking femininity.

De Beauvoir concludes that women cannot achieve change in their situation like the rest of the abused fractions of humanity such as the Negros or the Jews because they lack the required unity to help them work together for their cause. The reason for this is that they are scattered among the men of the specific social class or group they belong to as subordinate beings. De Beauvoir argues that it is an undeniable fact that at present women are inferior to men; however, the article leaves the readers with an open question through which De Beauvoir suggests that this situation needs to end some day in the future:

Yes, women on the whole are today inferior to men; that is, their situation affords them fewer possibilities. The question is: should this state of affairs continue? (310)

References:

De Beauvoir, S. (1990), "Woman and the Other" in Walder , D., (ed), Literature in the Modern World, Oxford: Open University, pp. 305-310.

The Diaries of an Abused Girlfriend-The Follow up Story

Dear Reader,

I know if one day these diaries came to your hands, they may leave you confused, and if you are a young girl like me, going through the same situation like I had, then you may be in a state that makes it hard for you to believe the last words you read on the book's last pages, therefore, as today I was going through my old stuff, I found these diaries and I realized that you (whoever you are) may need a follow up from me that is like a testimony on the things I predicted and stated in the last pages, so here it is, my testimony after six years from writing those words:

Love is never an easy ride and healing from it is even harder, however, when it comes to abusive relationships like the one I had experienced, healing is much easier, because, the relationship itself is the wound, the sickness, the injury and thus, ending it is the first step towards healing and liberation, therefore, if you are hesitant about ending your relationship with that abusive person thinking that you're going to die after that, you're dead wrong, it's only the relationship itself that makes you die slowly and painfully. As a result, my healing process was easy and smooth and every day I was more grateful that I had ended it as the taste of freedom and peace of mind is so good!

My life went normally and I did pretty well at college. I had self-confidence and I made heads turn, I made a lot of friends of both genders and I found out that nothing appeals to guys as much as confidence and feeling comfortable with oneself does, however, this also made guys dread asking me out thinking: Whoa!!!She's never going to say yes! And yes, they were right! I wasn't planning to say yes and I wasn't ready to fall for any new guy and restart dating, I wanted to focus on my future plans and dreams, I believed it wasn't going to work to be both in a relationship and pursue your dreams so I turned down any guy who had the guts to ask me out. I had a simple and clear plan: I was going to nail it in all of my classes, I was going to graduate with very high grades and then I was going to complete my studies abroad , but, life has  a very good sense of humor, whenever we feel like we are all equipped and we have everything under control, it grins at our faces and says: Not so fast!!!We have a last minute change! And my last minute change was a guy as simple as you can imagine, of the purest heart I had ever seen, very kind and polite, so sweet and considerate and really cute and funny. He wasn't special in any particular way and yet he was very special in so many different ways: he wasn't the most handsome but he was very cute and adorable, he wasn't rich or anything like that but you could have thought that he was a millionaire because he had such a great self-esteem and dignity and he was so generous and content, he wasn't the most educated and knowledgeable guy yet he was educated enough to lead many serious conversations, talk about profound matters and discuss them thoroughly and he seemed much older and wiser than his own age. Despite all this, there were many special details about him that made him so special, things you can't describe in words but you can only feel, simple little things that were very precious and rare to see in a guy, his…I don't know, I will never be able to describe that. So, there was a very intense chemistry between us from the very first beginning, from the moment I saw him I couldn't help noticing and remembering him, as if we were searching for each other for many centuries and in previous lives and we finally came together again, this is how smooth, easy and familiar it was to be around him. Soon, we became friends and we talked and talked for hours, I felt like I could be myself around him and no matter how much my brain protested, my heart wasn't ready to step back, so we became very special friends and my mind still resisted and the day the friend-zone was broken, my mind protested and I broke his heart, but I couldn't sleep all that night feeling stupid for what I had done, so in the morning I gave up and after two weeks trial I allowed myself to say those magic words "I love you" once again and his reaction was so worth it, it was the reaction that every girl deserves to get when she says it to a guy who is supposed to be in love with her. Two good friends were now in love and it was very human and peaceful. But many crazy things followed, we had the craziest relationship ever, and that I mean in the good sense, it was like movies, no, even better! I lived the best days of my life with him. I broke free and I experienced all the beautiful and magical moments that I heard of or read until then. He was a dream coming true and I felt like God made up for all the bad things that happened to me with my ex, oh! Speaking about my ex, the first thing I did when he told me about his feelings was telling him about my previous relationship, which he took so easy and later when he heard the whole story, he felt sad and sorry that I was put through all that by him, this is how nice he was. Those were our first magical months of being young and crazily in love. But, is Love just a sweet fairytale full of bunnies and butterflies?! No, love is never going to come without pain and heartbreak; it's part of the package and love is not love without it. So, we had our ugly days later, when we faced some of our tough differences that were the reason why both our brains were resisting our love for a year when we were stuck in the friend-zone. Things got nasty and decisions had to be taken, we had to choose, we had to compromise and meet half-way, things were tense and we had to let our minds control it, we never said harmful things or any offensive things to each other, we were rational adults debating and trying our hardest to survive but we knew two things for sure: we loved each other too much to let go and we had to choose once for all. The final moment came and my stubbornness was overcome by my own awakening that I was insisting on something that was not worth doing the unimaginable: letting him go. So my walls tumbled down and I accepted the compromise and great/terrible days followed. We had many beautiful and magical moments but we also had many fights and yet none of them ever contained the words: let's end this or any similar things, breaking up was never a possibility and unlike my ex, he never spoke of it at all, in fact, among all the terrible fights and ups and downs we had, being together and not being ready to let go was the thing that we were always so sure of, it was the golden rule and it was so simple, we couldn't handle it, we were meant to each other and our love was all a divine plan and a  message we had to proceed with!

Talking about how he was to me: he was very sweet, very kind, very romantic in a very unusual way, very considerate and sensitive, very funny and easy-going, a very good listener and very polite and well mannered. He was simply all that my ex wasn't. And we were in the same age, which is something that I used to think it bad but it was a blessing because we grew together so we supported each other and we shared many experiences that made us life companions sharing life's long journey.

We dated for about four years and we became a famous couple envied by all and a good sample to look up to by others. He knew my family and he was approved and loved by almost all of them and he was someone to show off and be proud of. We finally got engaged and then married and lived happily ever after! And the good part is that I didn't have to give up my plan to go abroad and study for my major because we shared the same dreams so we did that together and he was a great encouragement to me because he always believed in me more than I did myself, he was my number one fan and he gave me faith and hope, he reached out and awakened the angelic part of me, he made me closer to my good self and my spiritual self, he made me a new person, a better person not by forcing me or pushing me but by the mere goodness in him that made my own goodness show up and the dark self hide. He's the best gift God ever sent me and I will never be able to thank Him enough for that.

So, this is my follow up story in the perfect and Hollywood sense but I know this is not going to help when you face reality, so let's share some facts:

Yes, he sometimes ignores me and forgets important stuff. He is sometimes a complete jerk and says not so nice things. He can be so stubborn and annoying. He can be cold and unaffectionate. Yet, he is always able to show me that he loves me and he's there for me when I need him to. He never cheats or lies and he's the most sincere and honest person I know. He always has those little simple thoughtful moves that make me just adore him. He always can make me feel so special and make me feel so beautiful even when I'm simply not. Yes, we have our bad moments, our boring and cold moments and our terrible moments too but the thing is, we are always like a team, we have invisible strings that attach us to each other and make us not wander too far before we are back to each other. I can never describe our relationship because it is like nothing of the lies and books' words you read and heard. It is a human relationship at its highest forms. We are friends, we are life companions and we are passionate crazy lovers! We are a weird mixture of all the human good and bad deeds and we go through this life together trying to control the bad ones and project the good ones. We are after all ordinary people with so much compassion between us because after all, love is not the heat, the rush, the heart beats and butterflies, it's not even the anxiety and worry, love is at it seems: the affectionate compassionate peaceful relationship that is between two people who share this life with its ups and downs like one team and they live their life while feeling content and satisfied with what they have and they enjoy the daily ordinary things and routines they share together. Love is nothing extraordinary or miraculous, it is a very simple and human experience that its simplicity makes it so hard to achieve because all of our wrong and high expectations about it. In fact, a great love is not a love that can survive the great challenges and hard days but it is the one that survives the simple ordinary daily routines of life till death separates us.

Finally, I may have sounded like a victim in my diaries but that wasn't true, I was not anyone's victim but myself and I gave someone the power to abuse me and I let them do it consciously for long enough, but this had to stop the way yours has to stop too, love yourself, see its value and save it from that disgraceful situation because no matter who you are and how you look, you are human and you deserve better than that, so rise and say NO to this form of abuse and retreat from the battle with dignity and pride because life is there waiting for you while you're waiting for him to change and be better to you. Life has many good gifts to give and you should go and catch them but among them I advise you to take these: content, compassion and self-esteem. And my last words to you are a quotation that says

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
 

Bob Marley

The Ultimate Goal!

When a baby-girl is born in our third world countries, people who congratulate the mom say: We hope to see her as a bride soon.
when she goes to school, the same thing is said.
when she goes to college, same thing.
when she finishes college, same thing.
when she gets a job same thing and thus on every single occasion, birthday, achievement..etc she's always made that wish as if she's going to be incomplete and everything else will be worthless unless she actually achieves this goal!! what an encouraging thing indeed! and people say, girls are crazy, all they want from this life is marriage and they have got no ambitions! and I say: shut up you hypocrites!! isn't it you and the society who caused this in the very first place!!? who really taught and brain-washed girls that their ultimate goal in life should be marriage and how many people, men and women, when they see a strong bad-ass woman who is so independent and educated but single they say: she's sick, she's got some issues and complexes because she's not married and they even make fun of her and all her achievements saying: well, no matter what you do, you're a loser because you're singe and God willing you will always remain so..so are our girls insane or they are the sane ones in this insane society? and aren't they so ambitious when they are running after their "ultimate goal" in life like this!!?